“What time is are Uber coming?”
“The boys said there not going to get into the frat.”
“Holey Cow just dropped my phone in the toilet and it’s still working!!!”
“So your sure Wings Over Amherst still delivers at 4AM?
“Did I leave a pare of heels at your house?”
“It is way to difficult to type right now. Evan is going to right down my texts from now on.”
“I don’t know weather I should walk up the hill or get a cab to Van Meter.”
“I think I’m hear… Can you come outside?”
If you are guilty of sending any of these texts, it is a) Saturday Night and b) clear that homophones have got the best of you.
Homophones are different words which sound the same, but are not s-p-e-l-l-e-d the same. For example, the errors in the Saturday Night texts above are visually apparent on paper, but read the sentences aloud and they sound flawless (well, the content is admittedly still a bit concerning…). It’s not the pronunciation that’ll get you, it’s the spelling and meaning.
We’ve all witnessed that one ever-so-grammatically-correct Facebook friend post angrily about the abominable mistakes people make with “there, their, they’re” and “your vs. you’re.” These comments can be discouraging to your Average Joe, just trying to make ends meet in an unnecessarily complicated English-language-life. So next time Grammar Police Gretyl criticizes your innocent blunder, tell her, “Give me a brake BREAK” and send her a few pictures to turn that homophone hate to humor.
You could try asking Grammar Police Gretyl:
She might get a real kick out of that.
You could remind Gretyl that it’s an easy mistake:
And to ask herself a universally applicable question: What would Ryan Gosling say?
And you could even tell Gretyl that even the Most Interesting Man in the World has trouble with homophones.
Not always, though.
In the end, we’ll all make the occasional mix-up, so don’t let it effect AFFECT your confidence. It helps to know which part of speech a word represents. If you know that effect is almost always used as a noun, for example, you are less likely to misuse it in describing actions. The same is true for “are” and “our” – the first is a verb and the second an adjective.
Context and association are also helpful tools. If you can associate the Y in “dye” with a clothes hanger, you will be less likely to spell “die” when writing about clothes and fabrics.
It’s also important to notice and understand the significance of apostrophes, like the one in “they’re.” That way, you’ll realize you didn’t mean to say “they are Grandma” in response to, “Who is that old lady talking to those girls?”
So fear not! With a little practice, you will never again feel vary dumb.